dogs

I want to be more like my dog. 

In the picture above, our sweet dog Alice is actually sleeping... very comfortably too. She has been in this position for over 20 minutes, moving only slightly as any sleeping creature does. 

I wish I was this comfortable all the time, all day. At home I usually am, but you know, wear pajamas at work, slippers to the city, etc. People would be generally more happy if we were constantly comfortable. And people like to be happy.

I have had a background on my computer for the last month that says "Comfort is the enemy of achievement."

We as humans beings (dogs too) are very delicate beings: we can be too hot or too cold, we can be uncomfortable on a surface to hard or even too soft, if we eat too much or not enough, if we have to be inside and we would rather be outside, if we have snow in our boot or sand stuck between our toes, sun in our eyes, water in our socks, it goes on and on. 

I am not saying we are whiners (NOBODY likes wet socks), or even spoiled, but we are really very fragile beings that require a level of comfort between two very specific degrees that vary from person to person.

This is the biggest reason people like me don't get fit. The reason some of us don't go outside. The reason some of don't try those new things. We not only want to feel physical comfort, but emotional comfort, that we either don't want to get the sea water in our mouth when we fall off the surfboard, or when we fall we will be embarrassed.  

We need to tell ourselves it is okay to be comfortable, we can still be happy, and not be comfortable. 

I have two very good acquaintances whom I grew up with.They are both very successful women in their own ways, and they are SO happy, and NOW very comfortable with themselves and their lives BECAUSE they took the time to get fit. They have always had the mind set, that that little bit of work now will pay off in the future in a very big way. 

One runs cross country for a college team, and the other is going to be in recreation, so they have even each found their own lifestyle and career based on their love of fitness. 

Biggest loser is on TV on Monday nights. I see those people (when I happen to watch it with my mother in law), and cannot fathom how uncomfortable they are. Not just the heat, sweating, and physical push they put their bodies through, but Jillian screaming at them, because she knows its all in their heads. They are emotionally, physically, and psychologically uncomfortable.

 It pays. 

We can still be like our dogs, we can enjoy life no matter what. 

And sleep in whatever position you want, what you do in your bedroom is none of my business.

I'm still super lazy. : P

you.

You are the only one. 

Think about that for a moment.

Now read the following slowly and very thoughtfully.

Think of 3 things that ONLY you can do. Maybe you have heard that others can do it too, but you don't personally know anybody that can.    

Now think of a place you have been, possibly an experience you had there. 

Think of your family, each specific member, their specific quirks. 

Now, think of each of these as a piece to your large complex puzzle of personality, character, and soul.

If you had not experienced ANY of these things, you would not at all be the person you are today. 

YOU are the only YOU. You cannot be anybody else, ever. You are too experienced at being yourself. You know yourself too well. You are the only one that ever knows what you're thinking, or what you are going to do next.

I think you get my point. 

Worship who you are. All your quirks, those things you do that your mom used to do, the phrases you say that you picked up from your husband, the way you sit like your great grandmother when you're thinking about your next move. 

Events, people, and places in your life, all timed perfectly, make YOU. 

There is too much proof for anyone to tell me that there is not a plan. I believe in God personally, I have friends that do not, but that DO believe in a higher power, whether it be Karma, Buddah, Energy, or pure science. You cannot tell me that this great puzzle of your life, has not been planned out in one form or another.

Now, consider everything above.... 

We are about to take a sharp science turn. 

 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traumatic_brain_injury

That is a Wikipedia article about how traumatic brain injury can cause complete personality change... 

it's worth a perusal. 

Usually it involves damage to the frontal lobe which controls aggression.

I have heard of a story of a woman whose husband had a work accident and this very thing happened. He became a violently angry man (who wouldn't be after an iron rod through the head... but seriously) for apparently no reason at all.

NOW this can't help but beg the question ... if we are who we are because of our experiences, do these experiences (our soul if you will) still play as significant a role in our *outside* (for lack of better words) lives, when our scientific and physical brain is injured. 

The mental aspect of the brain is still widely studied because it is still a very mysterious topic. 

It's not just psychology as we mentioned before, its the spiritual nature of a person. 

So this is NOT religion versus science. Atheists still have beliefs and morals, with no practicing religion. 

This is a question of the established human nature versus a scientific physical change.

So tomorrow morning when YOU wake up...

YOU will be eating the breakfast YOU like, waking up at the time which suits YOU best to get to work/school/video games on time, YOU will kiss your spouse/mom/girlfriend goodbye, YOU will bike/walk/drive to work/school, to do the job YOU are trained and paid to do. 

When you stop feeling like that special little individual snowflake.. on the outside, you're not really, you're unique just like everybody else, BUT

YOU are the only one. 

:-D  I love being contradictory.

Bucket list 2013

The last time I blogged was March 2011. I think it's time for a new one All the blame goes to Kristen Ruiz, and I thank her for that!

Now, people do these blog thingys for different reasons, some use it as an out for stress, some it is a way of communication, usually its an online journal you don't mind sharing with the world. If you know me at all, you will already know how strange and random my blog is going to be. 

Right now I dedicate myself to posting once a week.

So today's thought. 

My bucket list. 

I think everyone has a bucket list, whether they are conscious of it or not. You've said to yourself, if even in a fleeting thought: "I wanna do ___ someday.", "I wanna go to ___ someday." I believe these things are all a part of our subconscious bucket list. 
The experiences we have had and the people we have known all make up who we are, so why wouldn't the experiences we WANT to have and the people we WANT to meet make up a part of us also. 
A great example of this, and probably the simplest. 
Chris and I had been watching "Scam City." It a very eye opening program about a gentleman that revels scams in cities throughout the world. Upon watching a certain episode discussing a city in India (I can't remember which) I turned to Chris and said, "I'm not sure I want to go to India anymore." He was never interested in going to India, as for myself, I wanted for a long time to travel anywhere and everywhere. The type of city was not interesting to him, the busy streets and seemingly lower standard of living (I have never been there I can't say for sure) was not a place he wanted to spend money to go and see. I looked at it as an opportunity to discover more culture in my life. This idea had changed after the representation on this program. 

Back to the bucket list.... Chris wants to bike around Canada, I have never been overly excited about anything that seems like work, so it's not really on my bucket list, even though I would do it with him if he wanted me to. 
This is what I mean by the things we WANT to do, make us as much who we are by the things we HAVE done.

Buckets lists are a journal of the future. So here is the beginning of mine.

1. Have kids. 
Seems simple right? Well, for most families it is,but I personally know a few families that it has not been easy for. As for myself I am a Type 1 diabetic, which means I need to be at certain stage in health before I can even THINK about having children safely, for both myself and my children. My blood sugars have been a constant battle since I was diagnosed 10 years ago. It is a daily struggle to keep my sugars in range and alot of days it is not easy. I manage, but there is constant room for improvement.

2. Be a better snowboarder.

 This seems silly, but snowboarding seems to be the only "sport" I can get overly excited about (if you don't include guns). I appreciate that Chris convinces me to try new things, because this was one of them. The first time I went, I was unsure, not knowing what to expect, I was terrible and wanted to do it again. Last time I went, I made a complete idiot out of myself and came home with two VERY sore knees and a leg that looked like one giant bruise. Yet, even with all that, I promised myself I would go again. Why, you ask? I have no idea. This tells me that I enjoy it enough, even though I looked like a total moron (no one was looking at me anyways) and I still can't kneel on a hard surface, that I LIKED it. I think a huge part of this for me personally is that I have never done anything like it before, and I feel like I find the only brave bone in my body when I do it.
My mother doesn't know it, but she ruined my life. I hesitate to do things like this, because the first thing I hear is her voice in my head "you're gonna break something" "do you have health insurance" "it's a good thing your husband is a medic". Even if they are all jokes, she used to say things like that alot when I was a kid. I love my mom, but there is a time in my head when she needs to shut up. Like now, sitting at the top of this very small hill covered in snow. I'm not going to break anything, my husband is on the other hill, and I'm a big girl.
Maybe I'm a sucker for pain.

3. Stop taking things for granted

This is a very general goal, but it still applies. We live with my in-laws. Which is not horrible at all like everyone automatically assumes. I love them, we have interesting days, but I love them alot. My mother in law especially puts up with a lot from me and my husband. We would be the worst roommates ever if we lived with strangers. I can't speak for Chris but I know I take for granted that she keeps the main house very clean, considering she picks up after 3 people, she cooks, which we will come back to later, and she does the dishes. That last one pertains the most because she does ALL of the dishes. I love her, and I wish I was a bit less lazy so I could take pride in being a good room mate. 

4. COOK MORE

I capitalized this one because I love to cook and bake. I would spend whole weekends cooking if I had the house to myself. I need to do this more, because I want to both get better at it, and do it more often. Usually I don't get home from work until 6 in the evening, which makes for a long freaking day. By then, I'm starving and I want food now, not in half an hour to fourty-five minutes that I have to cook myself. I am not sure how to improve upon this other then some make ahead meals.... 

4a. pre-cooking more
I need to learn to cook meals ahead of time. Making it easier for both me and my mother in law. Anybody with any good casserole recipes let me know!!! 

 5. learn Spanish

I have always wanted to learn a new language, and since I am pretty set on retiring in Mexico, why not Spanish?! I have ordered the Rosetta Stone program which probably won't come until after we get back from Mexico (Feb 2-9) but I am really excited to get started. It's going to be more fun and special because Chris has (hesitantly) agreed to learn with me. 


So those are the start of my bucket list. 
Boring and simple, but so am I most of the time. I am excited to start this year looking at these goals (maybe not #1 quite yet). 

long time no see

I suppose its way overdue for an update.

Been working at Canadian Tire for a month as of today, and LOVE it.
Made cupcakes for everyone at work to celebrate and thank them for being so great. It's a big dysfunctional family :) .
Waiting on Chris to get home, he was supposed to get homne today from his medic job north of Peace River, but now I guess they need a medic for one more month, so they're sending another one out, and he gets to come home hopefully Wednesday now. Gets pretty lonely when he's not around, even with my mother in law around, she kinda does her own thing. But he'll still be home this week so that's exciting.
I started tennis once a week, two weeks ago, and so far I am loving it too. It's nice to be having fun and getting to meet some different people, and the workout rocks. My blood sugars have been great since I've been getting more and more active. Been trying really hard to work out on my days off too. It's nice that I have every other day off, and every other weekend. :) It's a good break, and it's nice to stay up late every once in a while too when I have a day off.

I've been trying to eat more greens also, haven't really started calorie counting again though, although I should. I'm at 185 pounds (down from the 186.5 from the other day). And Chris has bought me a "target outfit" too. I really don't think I'm ever going to fit into it. Ever. Oh well. I guess it won't hurt to try... (?) Chris has an idea for a triathalon... I'm trying to be excited about it, right now I'm just enjoying being more active. Yeah, I'm enjoying it!

My blood sugars have been great, I'm excited about that, hoping my A1C is down at my next appointment. (My three month blood sugar average.)

The weather today was gorgeous, started out foggy, and that made me sad cuz I thought that meant it was going to be nasty and cold. Turned out to be warm and sunny for the rest of the day!

I'm just tired and sore now. Hungry, I have had a coffee and a cupcake since lunch (those cupcakes were DAMN good though!). I work this weekend and so I'm going to be exhausted by Tuesday, but next weekend I can spend it all with Chris, which will be great!